For you I will
by A Green Crayon
Summary: Kaito has a problem. A big problem. He just realized he had fallen in love with his straight best friend.
1. Revelation

**_Okay, so, I'm not entirely sure about this story. It was kind of like stream of consciousness writing that I have a fairly loose outline for. I'm not sure if I like it? But I figured I'd post it and see what people thought of it. If you guys happen to like it, I'll write more. I have quite a few ideas for it already. So, we'll see, I suppose._**

 ** _Warnings include Shonen-ai._**

* * *

Kaito was sitting on the bus heading to his best friend's favorite café. His best friend being the one and only Kudou Shinichi. The sky was clear, the birds were chirping, the sun was shining—essentially, it was a beautiful day. And everyone seemed to exude the happiness that only a day like this could bring. One that was perfect for an outing such as this.

But unfortunately, Kaito was rather uncomfortable. Or… not uncomfortable. He wasn't really sure. It was a very confusing mix of emotions he was experiencing right now. Though, he was leaning more towards uncomfortable.

The reason for this, was that he was fighting back a rather furious blush, and trying desperately to hide a steadily growing bulge in his pants with the books and notebooks of his best friend's.

Speaking of his best friend, Shinichi was there with him, sitting next to him on the bus.

It was actually because of Shinichi that he was feeling so… uncomfortably not uncomfortable. They were both headed to the café to study. Well, Shinichi had dragged him to go study, Kaito merely had a problem saying no to him, and ended up joining him against his better judgement.

Against his better judgement because, Kaito had… a bit of a problem.

A problem in which the now rather large bulge he was failing utterly to conceal was an effect of.

You see, the problem was, Kaito… was in love (yes, in love) … with his best friend, Kudou Shinichi. And his traitorous body just _loved_ reminding him.

He had just recently learned of his infatuation. He had always liked Shinichi, of course. They'd been best friends for a long time. He just hadn't known the full extent of how much.

It was during an event that had happened not too long ago that he had learned just how head over heels for his best friend he was. And now that he knew, every little bit of contact that he made with Shinichi, every minor look he received, to something as minor as Shinichi sitting next to him, sent chills down his spine and made his head spin.

And the reason for his sudden, awkward boner right now? Shinichi had passed out on his shoulder, of course. It didn't help that Kaito was a bit of a glutton for punishment, apparently, because he kept sneaking glances at Shinichi's slumbering, adorable face. It only made his persistent erection worse.

That, and, Shinichi kept mumbling adorable things in his sleep, kept shifting on his shoulder, kept _snuggling closer_ with every bump the bus made.

Kaito readjusted Shinichi's, _The Science Behind Forensics_ , textbook on his lap. The person sitting across him and Shinichi looked over with a slightly disturbed look on their face. Kaito grinned sheepishly at them before clearing his throat and looking away. Gosh, he wished he had the window seat.

It hadn't always been this bad. It was only after… _that_ happened… that his body had started doing strange things around Shinichi. Had he figured out his infatuation any other way, he might be able to control his urges a little better than this. Maybe. Probably.

It had happened about a week ago. The event that had changed Kaito's whole perspective. Flipped it upside down, the whole nine.

He could remember it very clearly. Mostly because he kept repeating it in his head over and over again with no pause. That, and the events leading up to it.

* * *

 _One week ago,_

* * *

"The red tie, or the black one?"

Kaito was eyeing the television screen of his shared dorm room intently when Shinichi had asked him the question. He was sitting hunched on the floor, holding a controller in his hands, as he shot at some zombies on the screen.

He didn't look up as he said, "The black one." Shinichi made some noncommittal sound at Kaito's quick reply.

"You didn't even look."

Kaito nodded absently. "I looked."

There was a pause from Shinichi. He could feel the exasperated, dry glare on the back of his head.

"Kaito, you've beat that game already. Now would you look?"

Kaito spared him a two second glance.

"Yeah, the black one."

Shinichi let out a sigh behind him. It was loud and drawn-out. One that implicitly stated, ' _you're being a jerk and you suck, and I really want you to know that with this dramatic sigh_ _because I'm Shinichi and I'm the biggest drama queen.'_

Or, at least, that's how Kaito had interpreted it.

"The black one it is, then."

Kaito let out a, " _Yes!_ " as he beat the stage with a perfect score. He didn't get to celebrate for long, though, when he felt something hit the back of his head. The thin strip of material flopped down over his face.

Kaito twisted around to glare. Shinichi was smirking at him from where he was sitting on his bed.

"Sorry, since you said no to me wearing the red one, I thought you might like to wear it instead," Shinichi said casually.

Kaito pulled the red tie off his head with a pout. He tossed it back at Shinichi before turning back around to start the next stage.

There was another one of those sighs behind him.

Kaito looked over to his right when Shinichi sat down beside him, and picked up another controller that was lying on the floor.

"Scoot over," he said, as he pushed into Kaito to get him to oblige. "Now get out of that and let me play."

Kaito blinked skeptically at him, but exited the stage through the start menu anyway.

"Don't you have to go soon?" he asked Shinichi, as he traversed the start screen to set it to two players.

"Yeah, but," Shinichi started, waving the controller around. "Still have plenty enough time to kick your ass."

Kaito grinned at the cocky remark, sly and haughty. "Like you could."

Shinichi merely scoffed.

As the game started up, Kaito began to snicker. "By the way, this isn't a versus kind of game. We're going to be on the same team," he told him.

"Oh, what? That's lame. Can't I be the zombie and hunt you, or something?" Shinichi asked, staring down at the buttons of his controller. The face he used to examine them was a confused one.

Kaito laughed. For someone as astute and observant as Shinichi, he could really be clueless sometimes.

"No, you can't."

The stage started up, and their characters were placed in a dingy room.

"That's okay, I guess," Shinichi started nonchalantly. "I'll just have to carry your slack then."

Kaito chuckled. His grin was wide. "Yeah, okay, sure~"

So they started to play. Kaito had to explain the controls to Shinichi, though, when the boy kept running his character around in circles.

As they slayed zombies together, Kaito spared Shinichi's concentrated face a glance.

"By the way, what's that girl's name that you're going out to that restaurant with again? I can't remember."

Shinichi's brow furrowed, but he didn't turn to look at Kaito. He seemed far too engrossed for that. Kaito smirked.

"How long have we been friends, Kaito?" Shinichi asked instead, then he chuckled. "We've been friends for years, since high school, and you don't even remember the name of the girl _you_ encouraged me to ask out?"

Kaito huffed as he turned back to the screen. He got a headshot off on a zombie that had started to chew on Shinichi's character.

"Was it uh… Rin? Rena?" Kaito asked, just in time to watch Shinichi's character commit suicide by jumping off a ledge.

"Oh, come on. That wasn't even fair. The zombie pushed me," Shinichi grumbled. He looked over to Kaito while his character was in the process of loading back into the game. "Her name is Ran, remember?"

Kaito nodded with the epiphany that hit him. "Oh yeah. That was it."

Shinichi's character loaded back up, and he set off to continue to slay the undead. But he died to a trap he had set earlier as soon as he took his first step.

"What?! What killed me?!" he wailed at the TV, leaning forward to stare at the red, 'You died,' that flashed across his part of the split screen.

Kaito let out a huff of laughter that he was trying hard to suppress. It wasn't working out too well for him. When Shinichi glared over at him, he tried to look serious.

"You stepped on your own landmine," he said. Then he started snickering again.

"You can step on your own traps!?" Shinichi exclaimed. When Kaito nodded, he glowered back at the screen. "Well that's… stupid."

"I thought you said you were going to carry my slack," Kaito teased. Shinichi reached over to punch him in the arm.

"Shut up. You didn't explain all the rules to me. That's not fair."

"I'm so~rry," Kaito drawled. Then he nudged Shinichi with his shoulder. "You just seemed so confident earlier." Shinichi spared him a sidelong glare, but Kaito could see the hint of a smile on his lips.

They both turned their attention back to the game. Kaito had to clear a path for Shinichi, who kept running into zombies face first.

"By the way, how'd your magic show go? I'm sorry I couldn't make it," Shinichi asked. He made sure to carefully avoid all his landmines this time.

Kaito beamed when he turned to Shinichi again. "It was great! You should've heard the crowd! It was so cool to see everyone that excited. To see _me_!"

Shinichi smiled. "I'm sure it was. I wish I could've been there."

Kaito's smile didn't waver. "That's okay. You can be there next time! I know how busy you are with that internship at the police department and all," he said.

Shinichi shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. I would have rather went to see you, though." Kaito looked over to his best friend in surprise. Shinichi didn't seem to notice his stare, though, as he let out a sigh. "It hasn't been all too exciting really. I haven't even had a chance at any field experience yet. I'm really just observing."

Kaito looked back over to the screen, but he spared Shinichi the occasional glance. "Ah."

"So how are your acting classes going? Get any good parts?"

Kaito bounced easily back into his excitement.

"Oh yeah! I forgot to tell you! I landed the lead part in the play we're hosting at the university," Kaito said with glee.

Shinichi turned to look at Kaito in surprise at that. Even at the cost of his character's life for the third time as a zombie flew across the screen to jump on its idle body.

"What?! Kaito, that's awesome!"

Kaito grinned, feeling his cheeks flush slightly at the attention.

"Yep!" He then looked over to Shinichi. "Are you gonna go?"

Shinichi sent him a flabbergasted look. " _Of course_ I'm going to go. I already missed your magic show, I'm not missing your play too."

Kaito turned sheepish, and felt his face heat up a little bit more. He looked back over at the screen to hide some of it.

"You died again," he said idly. He could see Shinichi roll his eyes in his peripheral.

"Well, you know, maybe if you saved me, I wouldn't die so much."

Kaito chuckled at that. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you were such a diva."

"Jerk," Shinichi mumbled as he loaded back into the game. He walked his around character for a bit before he began to prod Kaito in the side with his elbow. "Hey, how do I get that shovel right there?"

Kaito looked over to Shinichi's part of the screen in confusion. "What shovel?"

Shinichi pointed. "That one. The one sticking out of the ground. I want that one," he said, as he dropped the pistol he had to try to get his character to grab it.

Kaito shook his head in amusement. "Shinichi, you can't get that shovel. It's just a part of the background." Then he laughed. "Why the heck did you drop your pistol? Pick it back up! The zombies are going to eat you."

Shinichi shook his head. "No, I don't want the pistol. It sucks. I want the shovel."

"You can't have the shovel," Kaito said with a grin and a snicker. "And the pistol doesn't suck, you just can't aim."

"Kaito, get me the shovel."

"I can't get you the shovel."

"But I _want_ it. _Kaito_ , get it for me."

"Oh, okay, I'll just break the game to get you the shovel."

"'Kay, thanks."

Kaito rolled his eyes.

Shinichi turned to Kaito with amusement in his eyes when he caught Kaito's eyeroll.

"What?" he started. "I can walk into my own traps, but I can't have the shovel? That's just bull."

Kaito grinned at him toothily. "Yes, Shinichi. They made this game just to mess with you personally. You don't even know how long they've waited for this moment."

Shinichi threw the controller down in mock anger. "I _knew_ it. Assholes."

Kaito couldn't stop the snickering at this point. He paused the game to check the time. He looked back to Shinichi after.

"Oh, don't you have to leave now?"

Shinichi blinked in surprised, and lifted his arm to check his watch. He cursed under his breath.

"Ah, shit. Yeah. I might be late," he said as he stood up quickly from the floor.

Kaito started to pout, even though he was the one who had brought up the time. And was, of course, the one who had gotten Shinichi to go on this date in the first place. He didn't have a choice though. Shinichi was so shy whenever it came to anything romantic concerning his crush. Her skirt could float up a little past her knees and Shinichi's face would spontaneously combust.

Put Shinichi in front of a dead body, and he was all right. All smooth, unwavering confidence. Put him in front of Ran Mouri, a student studying law at their university, and he was a complete mess. As his best friend, Kaito felt obligated to help him out.

Shinichi quickly adjusted his tie. He grabbed his wallet and keys off the nightstand by his bed on his way to the door. Before he walked out, he looked over his shoulder at Kaito.

"Don't die too much in that game while I'm gone."

Kaito scoffed. "I'll try," he said with a grin. "Good luck! Don't knock champagne on her dress or anything. No pressure."

Shinichi smiled fondly at him. "Thanks. I'll see you when I get back."

Kaito nodded. "Yep!"

With that, Shinichi opened the door to walk through it, and closed it behind him.

Now that Shinichi was gone, Kaito let out a pouty sigh. He turned back to his game, and glanced down to his controller. But he didn't feel like pressing play.

Great, now he was bored. Shinichi _just_ left, and he already missed him.

With another sigh, Kaito stood up to turn off the system, then he walked over to his own bed and laid on it, deciding to take a nap.

* * *

A bell chimed in the distance at Teitan University, signaling the start of the new hour. Kaito was loitering around Shinichi's classroom door, waiting for him to finish talking to his professor about something. Knowing Shinichi, he was probably arguing over something like, being a point away from a perfect mark on an assignment. Something like that.

Shinichi finally walked out of the lecture room. When he spotted Kaito, he smiled.

"Sorry about that," Shinichi said, as he walked up to Kaito.

"Eh, it's all right. I'll forgive you. Just this once," Kaito said with a grin. Shinichi shoved him lightly.

"Oh, thank you. You're too kind."

Kaito crossed his arms behind his head and smirked.

"Yeah, I try."

Shinichi snorted in amusement. "You're full of it."

"Only just a little," Kaito replied cheekily.

They started to walk, side by side, heading to the cafeteria to grab some lunch as they always did. Just the two of them. It was something of a tradition.

"How'd your date go, by the way?" Kaito asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

That's something that he had always loved about talking to Shinichi. It didn't matter if they were talking or not, it never felt awkward or forced.

"Oh, yeah, you were totally out when I got back. What was up with that?"

Kaito blushed faintly, and he shrugged. "Ah, was just more tired than I thought, I guess."

Shinichi scoffed dismissively. "Oh, of course. Because spending the day killing zombies on your day off is very taxing, I'm sure."

"Hey, man, some of those levels are brutal," Kaito said petulantly. He received another shove for his comment. When Kaito recovered, he looked over, and saw a faint blush staining Shinichi's lightly tanned skin.

"It went all right, I think," Shinichi said after a moment. "I mean, nothing bad happened."

Kaito grinned, and reached over to give his best friend's back a rough couple of pats.

"Good work, man! You're one step closer to adulthood."

Shinichi stumbled forward. When he regained his balance, he glared at Kaito's cheeky grin.

"You're right there with me, you know," Shinichi grumbled out. "You shouldn't act like you know everything." He eyed Kaito critically. "When's the last time you even had a girlfriend anyway?"

Kaito blinked a few times, raising a finger to his chin as he thought about it.

The last crush he could remember having was on his friend Aoko Nakamori. Though that attraction had withered and died all the way back in high school. That, and, he had never actually dated her. Other than that, he couldn't remember liking anyone else.

"Well…" Kaito drawled. Shinichi shook his head with a chuckle.

"Never, I know. You're a showman and a stage actor, a paragon of charm, and yet you've never had a girlfriend. It's pretty crazy to think about."

Kaito grinned sheepishly.

"So, uh, when's your next date with her? Rin, or whatever?" Kaito said quickly, wanting to change the subject. The idea of going down that road in the conversation unsettled him. There just… wasn't anyone that interested him… so far. He didn't really have anything else to add to that explanation.

Shinichi rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Ran. Her name is Ran. Why do I get the feeling that you know her name, you just pretend to forget?"

Kaito's grin just widened.

Shinichi quirked an eyebrow at him in amusement, but otherwise didn't comment on his 'forgetfulness.' "Anyway, there was somewhere I was planning to go with her."

Kaito looked to Shinichi curiously at that. "Where?"

"Hattori is throwing a party at his apartment tomorrow. I brought it up to her earlier, and she seemed to like the idea."

Kaito's face scrunched up in skeptical disdain.

"A house party, huh? Real classy, Shinichi."

Shinichi pouted, showing Kaito his upturned bottom lip.

"What? It's not that serious. It's only going to be Hattori, his girlfriend, Kazuha, me and Ran…" Shinichi trailed off as he listed the people on one hand. He leered at Kaito soon after. "I think Aoko is going to be there too, actually. You should go."

Kaito quirked an eyebrow. "Why?"

Shinichi sent him an unimpressed look. "Uh, because Aoko is going to be there?"

"Oh… yeah… right," he said sheepishly, idly scratching at his messy, brown hair.

"Will you go?" Shinichi asked. There was a hint of excitement in his tone. He seemed more thrilled about the idea now than he was just a few minutes ago.

Kaito looked over to Shinichi's expectant face, then he looked away. Damn it, it was so hard to say no when Shinichi was looking at him with those puppy dog eyes of his.

"But… Hattori-kun doesn't even like me," he tried weakly. It was a pretty flimsy excuse.

"Oh, don't go there, please. He likes you just fine," Shinichi said with exasperation. "I already get enough of that from him. I don't need you to do that to me too."

"What?" Kaito asked curiously. The look Shinichi gave him was a dry, incredulous one.

"You know how he gets. He's always accusing me of liking you more than him. I don't know where he gets that idea. Besides," Shinichi started. "My affection is not some… _prize_ to be won at some competition. So don't go making it worse by going around saying he doesn't like you."

Kaito puffed his cheeks out in a pout, and stuck his tongue out at Shinichi. Shinichi shook his head at Kaito's antics.

"So? Will you go with me?" Shinichi asked again. Kaito spared him a considering, sidelong look.

He wasn't sure why Shinichi was so adamant about him going to some house party of Hattori's. Being some third wheel didn't sound all too appealing either. That, and, Hattori and Kazuha were more Shinichi's friends than his. Even Aoko and him had grown apart since they all had entered university.

"I don't know… doesn't Hattori always try to bust out alcohol whenever he hosts one of these… parties?" he asked, eventually.

"Oh, come on. You don't have to drink if you don't want to," Shinichi said. "I'd like it if you went."

Kaito pouted. "That's just mean. Using my love for you against me." Shinichi just grinned. Kaito felt more and more resigned to his fate the longer he stared at his best friend's excited face. "Fine. I'll go, I guess."

Shinichi beamed. "Cool. I'll let Hattori know."

Kaito stared over at Shinichi as the boy pulled out his phone to start sending a text, and he let out a defeated sigh.

Little did he know then, but he had just agreed to the moment that would, irrevocably, change the life he knew now.

* * *

The next day came around pretty quickly for Kaito. Before he knew it, he was already coerced all the way up to Hattori's apartment door.

Shinichi and him had went together, and they were both standing on Hattori's doorstep when Kaito looked over to his friend. Shinichi hit the buzzer to tell Hattori they were out there.

"Shouldn't you be taking your girlfriend instead of me?" Kaito asked after a moment. He started to fidget with the hem of his t-shirt. He still didn't really feel up to this. Not that he minded socializing, he just didn't want to sit around while everyone else got drunk and started falling all over each other. Especially Shinichi and Ran. The idea just kind of soured his mood. He was happy for Shinichi, definitely, but seeing him all over Ran would just be weird.

But, of course, in the face of Kudou Shinichi, his resolve was about as sturdy as wet tissue paper.

"She's already here," was Shinichi's response. "She was visiting Kazuha-chan."

It was then that the door opened, and Hattori stood there. He grinned at Shinichi, but when he caught sight of Kaito, his face adopted a grimace.

"You really did bring your boyfriend," Hattori commented, still eyeing Kaito with what looked like mild irritation. Kaito returned the wry grimace.

"Sorry. You know how the husband gets. Can't say no or else he gets real grouchy."

"Oh, God. Shut up and let us in, Hattori. Kaito, stop speaking," Shinichi said, already throwing his hands in his face.

Hattori started grumbling, but he did step aside. "Oh, you tell him politely to stop speaking. I get the shut up…"

Shinichi ignored him as he grabbed Kaito and dragged him along inside.

Ran and Kazuha were in the small living room. As soon as the girls saw the two of them, Ran started blushing as she looked at Shinichi, and Kazuha started giggling. Kaito realized he didn't really want to know why. Shinichi walked over to them to chat with Ran. Kaito decided to leave them alone.

Aoko was already there as well, as Shinichi had said she would be. She greeted Kaito amicably when she saw him. He returned the greeting with gusto. They had always been close, after all, and he kind of felt bad for not keeping in touch with her more.

But it was when someone else walked up behind her that he started feeling even more irritated than when he had had the mild dispute with Hattori at the door.

"Oh, yeah, Kaito," Aoko started, somewhat sheepishly. "Saguru and I… well… we're dating. I never actually got the chance to tell you."

Kaito glared, hard, at the blond standing behind Aoko. They were already on a first name basis?

"Hakuba," Kaito greeted with irritation. He had never liked the pompous jerk. Hakuba had transferred into their high school in their senior year. He had stuck around ever since. The two of them never had gotten along.

"Kuroba," Hakuba greeted with just as much hostility. The static between them was near about visible. Aoko let out a nervous chuckle beside them.

"Hey, you two," came a voice belonging to Hattori. "Stop making out with your eyes in my living room. It's gross."

Both Kaito and Hakuba swiftly redirected their glares to their dark-skinned host. Hattori easily deflected them with a haughty grin.

"Yes, just about as gross as that infatuation you have with Kudou-kun," came Hakuba's retort. His expression had lifted into a smug smirk. Hattori's grin was quick to fall into a dark frown.

Now that Kaito thought about it, Hakuba and Hattori had never gotten along all too well either.

It was then that Shinichi walked over to where they were standing, right in the way of the flying sparks. They were quick to dissipate, however, now that he was there. He turned to Hakuba to say, "Hello, Hakuba. It's good to see you again. It's been a while."

Hakuba gave a short bow. "You as well, Kudou-kun." Shinichi smiled at him.

Kaito found himself chuckling wryly. Every male in the room despised one another. All except for Shinichi. Everybody loved Shinichi.

"Heiji!" came the loud shout of Kazuha's, who walked over to grab Hattori by the arm. "Stop harassing your own guests and come help me with the drinks, you _ahou_!"

Hattori spluttered indignantly as he was dragged off into the small kitchen. It dispelled the last remnants of hostility in the room.

Just as Kaito had figured, it wasn't long before the alcohol was brought out. Kaito did take one, but he made sure to keep it light. He figured he'd be the responsible one.

They had all gathered in the living room. And, just as he had figured again, he was the odd one out in their dysfunctional circle of friendship. When Hakuba had explained to Shinichi at some point that he and Aoko were, in fact, a couple, had been for about a year now, Shinichi had blanched quite a pale shade, and kept casting apologetic, kicked puppy looks over at Kaito every now and then. The looks actually made him feel better. Not because Shinichi felt bad, but because they were sort of sweet. And he had Shinichi's attention more than Ran did, it seemed. Kaito definitely didn't feel petty at all for it either. Of course not.

Kaito had found a nice spot on the floor to sit, away from everyone else. Mostly because it seemed everyone was already getting drunk to the point they probably couldn't hold a decent conversation anyway.

The lights were dim, and Hattori had gotten a flashlight from somewhere.

"You guys wanna tell ghost stories?" he asked suddenly with dramatic emphasis, flashing the light under his chin in his drunken stupor. When the light blinded him, he turned it off with several blinks.

"It's… January, Heiji," Kazuha said with a hiccup beside him.

Hattori shrugged. "So?" he slurred, then he grinned. "Isn't this like… the start of every cheesy horror film? Buncha old, college friends get together and then start getting picked off. One by one."

Kaito heard Ran let out an 'eep!' and looked over to see she had begun to cling to Shinichi's arm.

"Hattori-kun, let's not tell ghost stories…" Ran said with a whimper.

Hattori let out a dejected sigh, but his face lit back up soon after. "Okay. How 'bout we play truth or dare then? That's always fun."

Hakuba looked over to Hattori, a red flush spread across the bridge of his nose. "That's… the most childish thing we could do," he said with a slur. "But I'm not all that surprised… it coming from you."

"Shaddap," Hattori retorted. Then he sat down on the floor with a lopsided grin. "All in favor, say aye!"

"I don't know, it sounds kinda fun," Aoko spoke up next to Hakuba. Hakuba looked to her in surprise and confusion. When she smiled at him, all red in the face, he relented pretty easily. The two of them sat down on the floor along with Hattori.

"That's five people then!" Hattori exclaimed, then he glanced over to Shinichi and Ran. "Are you two gonna play?"

Kaito blinked in confusion over at Hattori.

"Wait, five?" he started, perplexed. Hattori nodded at him.

"Yeah. Me, Kazuha, Hakuba, Aoko-chan, and you. Five," Hattori explained, counting on his fingers as he went along. Somehow, he had pulled up six instead of five, and he glared intently at the solitary index finger in confusion. Silently questioning when the hell it had gotten there with his eyes.

Kaito tilted his head, about to question when the heck he had agreed to play drunken truth or dare, but before he could, Ran sat down next to him. Shinichi sitting down next to Ran. Ran smiled prettily at him, and Kaito let out a sigh.

"All right! All the players are here!" Hattori exclaimed. "Now, who wants to start?"

After a few rounds of rock, paper, scissors, Kazuha was chosen to start, and the game began.

Kaito kind of tuned out several rounds of truths the girls directed at each other, including lots of girly confessions of, 'yes, okay, I found out I loved him after our third date.'

Hattori had made sure to bring out a cooler of drinks, and it kind of worried Kaito. That's where most of his attention was. Especially when he noticed how quickly Shinichi was putting them down. He was on his fourth one, and already looked completely wasted. It didn't help that Shinichi had never really understood the concept of moderation in any sense.

Kaito himself was still sitting with his first beer, nursing it in his lap. He had no intention of going for any more.

"Kuroba, truth or dare."

Kaito looked up when he heard his name. He looked around until his eyes landed on Hattori's shark-like leer from across from him.

Kaito found himself rolling his eyes. "I don't know, truth?" he said after a moment. He wasn't sure if he was prepared for any drunken dares that Hattori could think up for him.

Hattori's leer drooped slightly. "Wow, you're lame," he said, but then his grin returned. "Okay. I got a truth for you."

Kaito lifted an eyebrow warily at Hattori.

"Is it true…" Hattori started, then he hiccupped. "…is it true, that you are madly in love with Kudou?" he finished, pointing over to a woozy-looking Shinichi.

Everyone in the room collectively gasped, then the whole room went silent. Aoko stared over at him in overly tipsy surprise, Hakuba was staring out of the corner of his eyes, feigning disinterest. Ran was looking at him with a light dusting of pink staining her cheeks, while Kazuha was falling all over Hattori's shoulder.

Kaito found himself fighting a blush. The one consolation he had was that none of them were probably going to remember any of this in the morning. And he could at least blame the heat in his face on the alcohol.

"Uh…" Kaito started. When he did, he happened to look over at Shinichi.

What he saw surprised him, because Shinichi was leaning around Ran slightly, staring over at him with the most intent expectancy. There was a gleam in Shinichi's eyes, and he looked particularly curious and wistful. Like he really wanted to hear the answer. Kaito swallowed down a lump in his throat.

"Um… I'm… not?" He forced out after some time. He didn't understand why it was so hard to say.

When he looked back over to Shinichi, the boy looked… dejected? Disappointed? He wasn't sure. It was probably because of the alcohol. He took another sip of his own to distract himself.

"Liar," Hattori muttered, but he didn't pester. Probably because he forgot what his original question even was.

The game continued after that, and Kaito was eventually able to relax again. Especially when he managed to dare Hakuba into doing a handstand. Watching the blond-haired punk flop over several times was enough to get him to feel better.

It wasn't until it came back around to Kazuha's turn that things started to heat up again.

Kazuha grinned mischievously, and she looked around at all the faces in the room. Her eyes zeroed in on Shinichi.

"Kudou-kun~" she drawled out. Shinichi looked over, seemingly startled that someone would pick him, beer spilling over his chin when he had been in the process of taking another sip.

"Huh?" he mumbled. Kaito began feeling the urge to run over and save him, he looked so innocently confused. With his lopsided stare and tilted head.

"Truth or dare, Kudou-kun," Kazuha said to him. She looked delighted at the flash of serious consideration that crossed Shinichi's face.

"What should I pick…" Shinichi mumbled, looking around at everyone for answers. His stare happened to fall on Kaito, and it stayed there. Kaito froze.

Eventually, he shrugged. "Maybe truth?" A dare might be far too much for Shinichi right now. He looked ready to tip over already.

Shinichi smiled at him brightly, seemingly overjoyed that Kaito had given him an answer. Kaito felt his face flush hot from that smile. He blamed the alcohol.

"Okay," Shinichi agreed.

But then Hattori, Kazuha, Aoko, and even _Hakuba_ began to protest. Ran sat quietly, looking like she was ready to fall asleep.

"Oh, come on, pick dare!" Hattori exclaimed.

Hakuba nodded as he said, "Indeed. Everyone has picked truth so far. I'm the only one who's picked dare."

Kaito glared at them. All of them.

Shinichi, for his part, looked cowed. "Oh… okay," he mumbled, but he looked back over to Kaito for approval.

Kaito wasn't sure why Shinichi wanted his blessing, but he sent him a sympathetic smile and a shrug of his shoulders anyway.

Shinichi's smile returned. He looked back over to Kazuha, and he nodded resolutely. "Okay. Dare."

Kazuha looked devious—a crooked smile finding its way onto her reddened face.

"Okay, Kudou-kun," she started, rubbing her hands together in mischievous delight. "I dare you…"

She paused for a moment, as she looked about the room. Presumably for ideas on what to dare Shinichi to do.

Her eyes then, for some reason Kaito couldn't possibly begin to fathom, fell on _him_. Kaito looked around before settling his gaze back on Kazuha. He pointed to himself, the obvious question going unspoken.

Kazuha turned her attention back to Shinichi briefly. "Kudou-kun, I dare you," she said, then looked back to Kaito's face with a grin so wide, he was afraid her jaw might come unhinged. "to _kiss_ Kuroba-kun." She pointed at Kaito for emphasis.

Kaito's eyes widened, and he immediately felt his skin heat up considerably. He quickly began to formulate protests.

"W-wait… Hold on now. Don't I get a say in this? It's not _my_ dare…" he went on to say, imploring the others sitting around him with pleading eyes.

Hattori, like the devil that he was, only chuckled. "It's okay, Kuroba, we'll give you more points or something. Besides," Hattori trailed off. He let out a hiccup. "He's your boyfriend anyway, it shouldn't be too hard."

Kaito stared at him in utter disbelief.

"What are you- What _points_!? We haven't even been keeping score!" Kaito exclaimed at him. Hattori's face scrunched up in disgruntled confusion.

"We haven't?" The dark-skinned boy looked genuinely concerned by this. Kaito let out a strangled sound in his exasperation.

"That's… that's not the point," Kaito said, trying to calm himself down. "The point is, we should both have to agree to that one since it involves us both," he finished, nodding resolutely.

But unfortunately for Kaito, nobody appeared to have been listening to him.

But more importantly, Shinichi didn't appear to have been either.

When Kaito looked back over to his best friend, he saw him crawling slowly, on hands and knees, over to where Kaito was sitting. Kaito started to choke on his own saliva when there began to be far too much of it in his mouth.

"S-Shinichi…?" he mumbled uncertainly when Shinichi was close enough to hear it. Shinichi sent him a lopsided smile.

"I have to kiss you, Kaito," Shinichi mumbled, just as quietly, and the sound sent a harsh chill straight down Kaito's spine, like an electric shock. He giggled at Kaito's stunned face. "Those are the rules."

Kaito let out harsh, unsteady pant of air. This definitely wasn't what he had been expecting when he had agreed to come here with Shinichi.

"But-" he tried, but was interrupted when Shinichi crawled over his knees to get into his lap. Shinichi at first flopped onto Kaito, his head lolling onto his shoulder, but he managed to get himself upright by steadying his hands on Kaito's chest.

Shinichi then stared at him, eyes hooded and lazy, clouded by the effects of alcohol and some emotion Kaito couldn't place.

And then Shinichi leaned in, and if Kaito thought he was hot before, his skin felt like it had caught fire now.

"Shini-" he tried to say, but the name got caught behind another mouth, trapped behind his lips and stilled on the tip of his tongue, where it stayed.

Opening his mouth hadn't been a good idea, incidentally (or perhaps it had been the best idea he'd ever had, it was up to interpretation, really), because a tongue that tasted of alcohol, but sweet all the same, slipped past his parted lips. When it did, Kaito almost choked on his own.

He reached up, and placed his hands just above Shinichi's hips. Shinichi's hands had raised to cup his face. Thumbs stroked across his cheek bones, and slender fingers pulled him closer.

Shinichi only leaned back slightly to catch a breath, before he moved back forward with needy anticipation to slide his wet lips back over Kaito's.

His eagerness, and Kaito's utter surprise and growing excitement, had them both falling backwards onto the floor.

Shinichi practically ravished the mouth he had claimed with this new angle—his tongue finding places in Kaito's mouth that Kaito hadn't even realized he had—and when Shinichi finally lifted himself up off of him, Kaito felt the absence a little too strongly. He was almost tempted to grab Shinichi and pull him back close, but he didn't.

Instead, he tried to relearn how to breathe on the floor—chest heaving with harsh, quick pants.

Shinichi didn't completely move off of him. He instead decided to perch himself right on Kaito's crotch.

Kaito let out a high-pitched noise from the back of his throat, and, with growing horror, realized he had gotten a rather large bulge in his pants during their incredibly heated kiss.

It only got worse, though, now that Shinichi's _butt_ was on it. He only hoped he was far too drunk to feel it. Or remember it.

But _holy shit_ was it too much of a turn on for his already frazzled brain.

He looked up to Shinichi, watched his chest heave, his irritated lips part in a breath, the red flush on his cheeks. Shinichi stared right back, examining him with an equal level of intensity.

It was then that Kaito realized something.

Maybe it was the way the crappy, dim florescent lights of Hattori's dingy apartment made Shinichi's hair shine, or the way Shinichi was looking at him, all clouded and wistful and _yearning_. But something clicked. It had just suddenly dawned on him. Like curtains in a dark room being pulled apart to reveal the all-too-blinding rays of light. It had hit him that clearly, that strongly.

He was… madly in love with his best friend, Kudou Shinichi. It really was true.

And then someone cleared their throat, and Kaito was yanked from the clouds to plummet back to Earth.

Tentatively, Kaito looked around. He noticed the whole room had went dead silent. Everyone was just kind of sitting there, staring at them with wide eyes and gaping mouths. Kaito felt a wave of heat envelope him. From both embarrassment, and the fact that Shinichi just shifted on his erection, and _holy crap, friction_.

Shinichi blinked a few times. He glanced over his shoulder briefly before turning back around to look down to Kaito. Then he started to mumble.

"Did I win?" he asked.

Kaito didn't get a chance to answer him, because it was then that Shinichi's whole body hitched. Shinichi lifted a hand to clap over his mouth, and his face turned an unhealthy shade of green.

"Shinichi?" Kaito asked warily. Shinichi didn't answer him. His body merely gave another violent hitch. "…You all right?"

And then Shinichi proceeded to vomit all over Kaito.

* * *

Back in the present,

* * *

And with that series of events leading up to his startling epiphany, leads Kaito to where he's sitting now—in the café's chair with Shinichi sitting across from him.

Everyone that had been at that party, thankfully, didn't fully remember all the details. Kaito had been the one to herd them all home when it had started to get too late. Right after stealing one of Hattori's shirts.

Shinichi didn't remember much either, (and Kaito had no intention of telling him) but he had vaguely remembered upchucking on Kaito the following morning. He had profusely apologized around a massive migraine that Kaito had been prepared for with Advil and water.

"Kaito."

Kaito looked up. When he did, he caught sight of Shinichi's worried expression.

"Hm?" Kaito mumbled, averting his gaze when he realized he was staring too long.

There was a sigh, but Kaito didn't chance another glance up, lest his eyes become glued to Shinichi's face.

"Are you okay? You've been zoned out for the past thirty minutes."

Kaito nodded stiffly.

"M-me? Yeah, I'm good," he mumbled. Shinichi didn't look convinced by his weak response.

Kaito tried to distract himself by crossing his legs and tapping his fingers idly against the wood of the table. He had to uncross them and settle for a restless fidget, though, when he noticed he still kind of had an erection. It was probably because he had thought back to that kiss. Damn it. Good thing he'd planned ahead, and had thrown on a baggy pair of sweatpants today.

"That looks stiff," came Shinichi's voice from across the table. Kaito jerked his head to look over to him, placing his hands over his crotch in a panic.

"W-what?!"

Did he notice?!

Shinichi quirked an eyebrow at him. "I said, you look tense. Are you sure you're okay?"

Kaito let out a relieved breath. "I'm fine. Just dandy." Then he let out an awkward chuckle. Shinichi looked displeased.

A young waitress walked by their table. She smiled at the both of them before lifting a small notebook in front of her.

"What can I get you guys?" she asked pleasantly.

Shinichi stared over at Kaito first, expectantly. When he didn't answer, Shinichi sent him a troubled look before turning back to the waitress.

"I'd like a coffee," he told her. She nodded.

"All right, one coffee. And for you?" she asked, turning to Kaito.

Kaito finally realized he was in public.

"O-oh… uh…" he trailed off. Absently, he reached for the small menu in front of him to wave it at his face. It was just so hot in here. He shifted a bit uncomfortably, far too aware of his own arousal. "The uh, coldest drink you have. Yeah."

"How about a vanilla milkshake?" she asked, scribbling in her notebook.

Kaito nodded. "That-that sounds good."

The waitress gave them a brilliant smile. "All right. Coming right up."

Kaito went back to fidgeting. He began to fiddle with the condiments at the far end of the table, just to keep himself distracted, and his brain from thinking back to that kiss, and the way it felt to have Shinichi sitting on his-

"Is the reason you're acting so strangely because of what happened at the party a couple days ago? Because I already apologized for that…" Shinichi suddenly asked.

Kaito jerked in surprise, spilling the container of salt all over the table.

"W-what? No… no. I'm okay, really."

"Kaito…"

Kaito hesitantly looked up from his task of scooping all the salt back into its little glass shaker. His eyes caught Shinichi's dry glower.

"You're acting more skittish and jumpy than a lobotomized monkey. You have been since that party."

Kaito averted his gaze, and reached up to adjust his collar. The little space between him and the table seemed far too cramped all of a sudden, and he pushed his chair back to give himself some room. As he did this, though, he bumped into a waiter that was serving the table behind them. He nearly caused the guy to drop the handful of food he was carrying.

"Sorry, sorry," Kaito mumbled, hopping back forward.

"Kaito."

Kaito glanced out of the window.

" _Kaito_."

He looked over to Shinichi.

"Did you say something?" he asked. Shinichi looked about ready to throw his textbook at Kaito's head.

"Will you tell me what's wrong? Did I do something?" Shinichi asked, a sad look flashing across his face.

Kaito shook his head vehemently, horrified.

" _No_!" he shouted. Probably far too loudly for such a small café.

Shinichi scooted back in his chair, blinking owlishly at Kaito.

Kaito let out a nervous chuckle, and slumped back into his seat.

"Sorry. I just have a lot on my mind," he said, and he kept it at that. Just so he didn't accidentally say something weird. Something like, ' _yeah, I keep thinking back to that party. To the time you kissed me senseless. Also, do you know how freaking cute you look today? You look way too good for this café. I have a massive erection I'm trying to hide from you. I love you_. _Do you want to make out?_ '

Shinichi nodded slowly at that. "Oh. Okay," he said.

Kaito immediately perked up, his brain clinging to the 'okay,' as if he'd asked his question aloud. His mind shouted to his body, ' _dude, he wants to make out. Quick, jump him!_ ' Thankfully, the waitress came back with their orders before he did something stupid, like frantically jump across the table.

"Here you boys go," she said, as she placed the coffee in front of Shinichi and the vanilla milkshake in front of Kaito. "Enjoy!"

Kaito reached out, and scooped the milkshake into his hands, bringing it to him to slurp at the straw.

He could still feel Shinichi's stare on him, but he tried to ignore it. It was difficult though. Especially when Shinichi was the only thing running through his mind.

It became especially hard when Kaito's brain helpfully supplied him with, ' _this vanilla milkshake is good. I wonder what Shinichi's vanilla milkshake tastes like._ '

And then his brain skipped and his heart jumped up into his throat and his penis poked him in the leg to remind him it was there, and that it greatly approved of this train of thought.

Kaito had to push the milkshake away when he got a brain freeze from sucking at it too long without remembering to take a breath.

"Anyway, I'll be going down to the police department to talk to inspector Megure later today," Shinichi said. There was excitement in his voice. "He's going to let me shadow him on a case he's working on."

It took Kaito a moment to register in his mind what Shinichi had said, because he was still recovering from the mental shock of thinking of Shinichi's di-

"Okay," Kaito said quickly, mechanically. Shinichi frowned at him.

"Seriously, Kaito. You can't tell me nothing's up. You're starting to worry me."

Kaito grabbed his abandoned milkshake and pressed the cold glass to his face. The relief was near about palpable.

"W-what makes you so sure something's wrong?" he asked after. Shinichi gave him an exasperated look.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because you're pressing your milkshake into your face like it's the only thing keeping you from catching fire?"

Kaito slowly lowered his glass to the table.

Shinichi let out a dejected sigh. "I guess you just really don't want to tell me," he said, as he lifted his arm up onto the table to lean his chin on. "Fine. I'll stop pestering you, I guess."

Kaito had to reign himself in from wanting to desperately shout, ' _CAN I KISS YOU?!_ ' at the top of his lungs, right in Shinichi's adorable, pouty face.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled instead. Shinichi glanced over at him from where he had trained his gaze out the window. "It's just uh… stress, I guess. You know… with the whole… lead role of the play thing. I have to remember all these lines… And uh… I have to work with the other lead, Akako. She's been pestering me a lot lately about practicing our scenes together."

It was true. He had been stressed about that. Not necessarily because he had to rehearse and remember lines, he had always been good at that. It was more the working with Akako bit. The girl was crazy obsessed with him. It was on a level so creepy, that the only thing he could think about while they were rehearsing their scenes together was where the nearest exits were in case of emergency.

Shinichi eyed him critically for a moment. Then he smirked at him. Kaito wasn't sure what to make of the expression.

"So, the reason you're so awkward and jumpy right now is because of this… Akako?"

Kaito blinked a few times.

"Uh… sure?" Yeah. Let's go with that.

Shinichi leaned back in his chair, assessing him.

"Well, that's a relief, at least. I thought you were acting so weird because I forced you to go to that party," Shinichi said with a smirk that Kaito still wasn't sure about, but then Shinichi's face turned sheepish. "I mean, because of the whole thing with Aoko and Hakuba. I'm sorry about that. I didn't know they'd been dating for a whole year. I felt like I forced you into going for nothing."

Kaito chuckled and gave a shrug. "Ah, that? Nah, it's all right. I'm not mad about that. Hell, I hadn't even known either, and Aoko's been a good friend of mine for years. I kind of felt like an asshole for not knowing."

Shinichi sent him a small smile. It melted Kaito's heart into a puddle of goo.

"That's good," Shinichi said. Kaito smiled at him. "But you should have told me you liked this Akako. I wouldn't have forced you to go with me before."

Kaito's happy bubble was violently burst, and he stared at Shinichi, horrified.

"… _What!?"_ he yelped out. It had come out so high-pitched, he feared he might've busted his windpipe.

Shinichi's smile merely widened. "You've been nervous and jittery all day. I figured it had something to do with you and a new crush. I've noticed how flustered you've been lately." Then Shinichi's expression went shy, and he averted his gaze from Kaito. "And uh… I've noticed the uh… problem… you have."

Kaito tilted his head. When he didn't get what Shinichi was alluding to, Shinichi made a not-so-subtle glance down, below the table. Kaito looked down. Right at his crotch.

He could feel the heat in his cheeks burn so hot, he thought his face might melt off.

"Y-you noticed that?!"

He didn't know his voice could even reach that high of a pitch.

"Well… you're not exactly subtle," Shinichi mumbled, looking back up to stare out of the window with a blush on his cheeks.

Kaito kept his face down. He stared intently at the floor, and willed it to part with his intense gaze alone.

"B-but… you didn't… when did you… know?" Kaito half-choked.

"I'm a detective, Kaito. I've noticed since the bus ride."

 _Okay. Floor? Whenever you're ready._

"That, and you're… er…" Shinichi started, but he trailed off awkwardly.

Kaito looked up. When he did, he saw that Shinichi was fighting a dark blush with all that he had. He lifted his hands, and made a gesture to emphasis what he was trying to say.

"You're… you know… not small?"

Kaito stared at Shinichi, hard.

Shinichi quickly stopped making hand gestures. He placed his face in his hand, probably to hide in it.

"You know what I mean. Those pants don't hide anything."

Unfortunately for Kaito, his brain couldn't seem to get off the idea of, ' _Shinichi's been staring at my crotch since the bus ride?_ '

"But now that I know why, I feel better. I wasn't sure if you were experiencing some severe sexual repression or something," Shinichi said, looking over at Kaito with a faint smile.

Kaito felt the muscle in his eyelid start to spasm.

Him and Akako? It made him want to barf.

He'd honestly rather date Hakuba. And that was saying something.

Shinichi then stood up from the table. "You ready to go?" he asked.

Kaito stared up at him, a cross between mortification and arousal warring for dominance on his face.

"D-don't you have to study?" Kaito asked, unmoving.

Shinichi shrugged. "I can't really concentrate anyway. I haven't been able to since we sat down. Besides," he started. He gave Kaito a suggestive leer. "I want to know more about this crush of yours. What's she like?"

Kaito had to physically resist throwing his face into his milkshake.

Why was life so cruel?

* * *

 ** _AN:_**

 ** _A few side notes about this story. It's sort of AU. There is no black organization, and Shinichi was never Conan. Kaito is not Kaitou Kid. Shinichi and Ran are not childhood friends. They're high school friends. Same with Aoko and Kaito. Why did I do this? Hell, I don't know. That's just how the cookie crumbled._**

 ** _Originally, I was going to play around with the concept of having Shinichi and Kaito being childhood friends. But it devolved into this. Not necessarily a bad thing, I guess._**

 ** _Anyway, if you like this little preview, let me know._**


	2. Coping

**Ask and you shall receive. Due to the amount of interest in this story, and all the support (like wow, thank you guys) I am happy to present you all, chapter 2.**

 **Why do I keep updating all of my stories super late at night? I don't even know. There's something wrong with me.**

* * *

Life was... hard... for Kaito now. Very hard.

It was torturous, really.

He had been trying to deal with his feelings for Shinichi for about a week now. His general thought had been, that maybe his infatuation would die down some after the initial shock. Unfortunately, it hadn't.

Honestly, it had only gotten worse.

Daily habits that were so mundane and ordinary before, normal, had started to become something of a chore for Kaito. He had started dancing and skirting around Shinichi whenever they did something as simple as walk into the bathroom together to brush their teeth. Because, for some reason, his brain couldn't handle seeing Shinichi with a foamy, white mouth.

Shinichi had continued to pick up on Kaito's odd behavior, of course. Kaito wasn't exactly subtle. Subtle wasn't something he did all that well. Not for a lack of trying, however. Shinichi was just too observant for his own good.

But honestly, he was sure anyone would have realized how weird he was being. Especially if they witnessed all the times Kaito had begun to ostrich his head in his pillows to hide whenever a mad blush overtook him. All because Shinichi had walked by him without a shirt on.

Shinichi had tried confronting him about it, saying things like, ' _Okay, this isn't just about the Akako girl, is it?'_

But whenever Kaito tried to explain himself, he'd end up choking on air, saliva, or nearly his own tongue, because Shinichi would end up doing something so freaking cute, or distracting, or... or _sexy,_ that his mind would short circuit, and he'd lose all cognitive functionality.

Like say, there was one time in which he was in the process of burying his head in his pillows after Shinichi had just walked out of the shower. His best friend had given him a skeptical look, and had asked him what was up with him. When Kaito hadn't been able to respond beyond a muffled, ' _yewr nekked o'vr thur'_ , Shinichi had given up, and had walked by him to grab a shirt out of one of his drawers. As he had passed by Kaito's bed, he, for some reason, had thought it'd be funny to smack Kaito's upended rear end.

Kaito hadn't thought it was funny.

In fact, Kaito had almost thought that Shinichi had single-handedly caused enough trauma to his frying brain with that single action, that he had thus become about as sentient as a freshly baked potato.

Had someone walked in at that moment, and had smelled the scent of something _cooking_ , they probably wouldn't have been able to tell the difference.

He hadn't been able to move from that spot for about an hour. It had gotten to a point where Shinichi had honestly thought he'd died. If Shinichi poking his butt with his toes had been anything to go by.

In his defense, who the hell _spanks_ their best friends in jest while they're half naked?

All in all, Kaito just _knew_ his brain was going to be nothing but a pile of scrambled eggs by the end of the semester.

He had tossed around the idea of just telling Shinichi that he had fallen in love with him.

But uh… he wasn't sure how to breech such a topic. Because… Shinichi and Ran were still very much a thing. It was unsettling, and annoying, and frustrating…

Didn't help to be reminded that _he_ had been the one to set them up…

But, even though it was quite frustrating to listen to Shinichi fawn over the girl he had gotten him to date, he didn't really want to ruin anything for Shinichi either.

He would just have to deal with it, and cope, he supposed. He was still holding out some hope that maybe he could get past this… phase… Because, even if he did tell Shinichi that he had fallen in love with him, that didn't mean that Shinichi would automatically feel the same. The attraction he seemed to have to Ran was a real one.

"Yes, I remember that Valentine's day is coming up," Shinichi's voice permeated the small space of their dorm room, phone pressed into his ear.

Kaito looked over to where Shinichi was sitting at the edge of his bed. He watched Shinichi scratch idly at the back of his neck, and Kaito found himself overtly enthralled by the action. Good thing Shinichi wasn't paying attention.

Kaito was sitting on the floor, trying (and failing) to shoot zombies. He'd died probably fifteen times already. He'd sort of lost track.

"You're going to make chocolate?" He heard Shinichi say. There was a chuckle. It was deep and alluring, and it did sinful things to Kaito's overreactive body. "Planning on giving it to anyone in particular?"

Kaito silently wished Shinichi would talk to _him_ that sexy-like. A zombie proceeded to eat him.

"Fine, I won't pry," Shinichi said. "I'll just wait patiently."

Kaito grumbled at the screen.

"So… are you doing anything tonight?"

He sent Shinichi a narrowed eyed look.

"Do you want to do something?"

When Kaito looked back to the screen with a glare, he noticed he had gotten through the stage with an F.

"Cool. I'll stop by your room later tonight then. Yep. All right, see you soon."

With that, Shinichi hung up the phone. Kaito didn't look over at him, instead choosing to scowl at his awful score.

He heard Shinichi stand up, and let out a content sigh. Then footsteps padded their way over to where he was sitting.

"Wow. What a terrible score," Shinichi said with a chuckle. "Forget how to play?"

Kaito didn't answer him. He merely pouted at the screen some more.

But then Shinichi sat down beside him, and Kaito felt his skin start to heat up. Shinichi picked up the other controller, and waved it at him. Kaito mechanically exited the game.

"So, I'm sure you heard me over there, but I was planning on doing something with Ran later today."

Kaito nodded absently as he started up a new game.

Shinichi nudged him with his shoulder when he didn't speak, and the contact sent little sparks up Kaito's spine. He let out something of an, ' _eep!_ ' and scooted a little away from Shinichi.

Shinichi sent him a confused look, but didn't comment. He turned his attention to the game.

"So, uh… I was going to ask, what should I do with her? Have any suggestions?"

Kaito was trying valiantly to keep his eyes on the game, and his body to himself. He was trying so hard, in fact, that he completely missed Shinichi's question.

He didn't notice Shinichi look over to him, focused on his task as he was, and he didn't notice the brief flash of hurt that crossed Shinichi's face.

He also didn't notice when Shinichi scooted over the small distance Kaito had put between them. Not until Shinichi's shoulder and thigh touched his own.

"Hey, why are you ignoring me?" Shinichi asked. Kaito finally looked over.

"H-huh? What? Ignore? Who's ignoring what now?" Kaito stammered, staring down at where Shinichi's leg was touching his.

"You. Are ignoring me," Shinichi said with slight irritation.

Kaito tore his eyes away from their legs to look up to Shinichi's unimpressed frown.

"You? Me? Ignore? Never. I love you."

Kaito wanted to shove both of his feet into his mouth.

When Shinichi's face made a complete one-eighty into startled confusion, Kaito quickly looked away with a mad blush fighting its way onto his face.

"What did you say?" Shinichi asked.

"I-I think whatever you decide to do with her will be fine. Y-you should trust your own judgement more…"

Kaito could feel Shinichi's steady gaze on him, but he did not dare to look back over.

"Well, sure, I guess. I was just wondering if you had any ideas," Shinichi said, finally allowing Kaito to breathe when he took his eyes off the side of his face to look back over at the screen.

"Um…" Kaito started eloquently. If Shinichi wanted an honest opinion from him, he'd tell him to leave the girl alone, she wasn't going anywhere, and that he should stay here, with him. They could uh… sit around… and stare at each other.

Was it sad that that actually sounded like a good idea to him?

Shinichi sighed. "You're doing it again."

Kaito turned to him. "What?"

Shinichi was back to looking unimpressed, and he scoffed at him. "Being weird. Though recently, it's starting to become your norm."

"Oh…" Kaito mumbled.

Shinichi stared at him, waiting. Kaito started to fidget. When he didn't respond, Shinichi let out an irritated, impatient huff of air.

"Seriously, what's gotten into you? Some crush on a girl couldn't be affecting you this badly. Nothing gets to you. There has to be something else."

Kaito tried to pay attention to the game. He really did, but it wasn't working. He didn't know what to say at all.

But… this could be it. This could be the 'in' that he needed. He could just blurt everything out to Shinichi right now. Consequences be damned. At the very least, he could get it out in the open. He could stop feeling like ducking into the nearest hole whenever Shinichi just barely grazed him.

He didn't know how everything would turn out if he did tell him, and honestly, not knowing was scary, but… they'd been friends for so long. Surely they could get through this. At least be able to talk about it.

Shinichi was a reasonable and logical person. He wouldn't just ditch him.

So Kaito made up his mind, and he looked over to Shinichi with determination.

But, he had taken too long, because the moment seemed to have passed, as Shinichi let out a sigh, and turned away from him to stare back at the screen.

"I guess you're right. I shouldn't keep bothering you about what to do. I'll think of something."

Though, as Shinichi said this, he looked a little deflated and somber. Looking at his dejected face made Kaito feel bad. He thought for a moment, that maybe it would be best if he kept his thoughts to himself instead of risking making Shinichi look even worse.

He continued to stare at his best friend. Felt his heart stutter when Shinichi cast a subtle glance his way. His resolve steeled.

No, he needed to… needed to say something. He couldn't just let this pass. He felt too strongly for Shinichi. And yes, they had been friends for years. Best friends. And he owed it to his best friend to explain to him why he had suddenly started acting like a sexually repressed and confused gopher for the past two weeks. He had to be brave.

It's about time he took his own advice for a change.

So, he opened his mouth.

"I… uh…" Kaito started, and trailed off with a muttered curse. Shinichi glanced back over to him curiously. Kaito let out a breath, and turned to face Shinichi fully. "I think you should stay here today."

Shinichi blinked at him a couple times. "Stay here?" he parroted.

Kaito nodded. "Yeah," he said, feeling a little more brave, more resolute. "You should stay here." He swallowed down the nervous lump in his throat. "With me."

Kaito could feel his face flush hot, but he refused to turn away this time. He'd hold his ground until he got third degree burns, damn it, because he was not going to run.

Shinichi ended up being the one to look away. He looked a little flustered.

"Um…" he mumbled, training his eyes on the controller in his hands. "W-why?"

Kaito recoiled.

Damn it, why did he have to ask questions?! Kaito wasn't ready for questions.

"U-uh… because…" Kaito stammered. "Because… well, Ran isn't going anywhere. Y-you hang out with her too much." And damn it, this wasn't the tangent this conversation was supposed to go on.

Shinichi blinked at him. "Oh. But, weren't you the one telling me to go for it? You told me I wasn't trying hard enough just a couple weeks ago."

Kaito sucked in a breath, and nearly choked on it.

"D-did I say all that?"

Shinichi eyed him with consideration. It made Kaito want to fidget.

"Have I been talking to her too much lately?" Shinichi asked after a moment. When Kaito didn't respond right away, a realization seemed to dawn on Shinichi. He spun around on Kaito to look at him severely. "Have I been neglecting you? I'm not turning into one of _those_ types of people, am I? The ones that completely ignore their friends when they find a girlfriend."

Kaito stared at Shinichi in shock, and started to splutter. He tried to get a word out, but it got caught in his throat when Shinichi leaned forward, and placed his hands on his shoulders.

"Is that really how you feel? Kaito, I'm so sorry. Why didn't you just tell me?" Shinichi asked.

Kaito opened his mouth, but no words came out. He closed it with a click, feeling a measure of guilt creep up on him.

Shinichi then turned away from him, and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

"I'll tell her something came up," Shinichi said, typing away at his phone.

Kaito stared at Shinichi's profile, feeling a mix of exasperation, desperation, and guilt. That… wasn't how anything was supposed to go. And now he felt like a complete jerk. He should probably tell Shinichi that that wasn't what he was feeling at all. Not exactly…

"S-Shinichi…" Kaito mumbled. Shinichi stopped typing for a moment, and looked over at him. Kaito looked up to Shinichi's worried, expectant, _fond_ expression. He swallowed. "U-uh… what uh… what should we do for dinner?"

 _Oh, you coward. You freaking miserable, sad excuse for a friend, awful coward._

Shinichi smiled at him. "You want to order some take-out later? Or do you want to stop by the store?"

What Kaito really wanted to do was slap himself in the face and go shove his head back into his pillows.

"… whatever you feel like is fine with me."

Shinichi nodded with an even brighter smile, then he leaned forward, and pulled Kaito to him in an embrace. It was one of the warmest things he'd ever felt, but Kaito still froze.

"I'm sorry, Kaito. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

Kaito was tempted to kick himself in the ass.

"O-Okay…"

They ended up ordering take-out, and Kaito continued to throw himself a pity party for the rest of the night.

On the bright side, Shinichi did pay him ample attention. Even if he felt like he didn't deserve it.

* * *

Another week passed, and Kaito still didn't feel like he was handling his situation any better than the day he realized it.

Shinichi had stopped asking him about what was wrong. He had fully committed to the idea of Kaito being neglected, and suffering from a one-sided crush on the girl in his acting class. It was… somewhat agonizing.

Kaito didn't know how to go about correcting Shinichi's false assumptions, though. Or even if he should. It became especially difficult to decide whenever Shinichi walked into their dorm room with a happy smile on his face as he said, ' _I think she really likes me, Kaito.'_

It was cute and all, sure. But _ugh_. He just wanted to groan out loud and curl up in his bed and never leave it. But, of course, he still couldn't keep Shinichi out of his head for more than five seconds. Kind of defeated the purpose of hiding in his blankets.

On top of that, he still felt horribly bad about making Shinichi think he had done something wrong to him. Shinichi had become rather attentive to Kaito after their talk a week ago. Kept making sure he _asked Kaito if it was okay to talk to Ran._

It was the sweetest, cutest, most endearing, most saddening, most _guilt-inducing_ thing Kaito had ever been on the receiving end of. Just another cocktail of confusing emotions to throw onto Kaito's steadily growing pile of muddled crap that was his mental state concerning Kudou Shinichi.

He didn't know what to do. His situation wasn't getting any easier, but there was nothing he wanted to change about it. He didn't want to be apart from Shinichi, but didn't want to blurt out any more ridiculous things that made him sad anymore, and he especially didn't want to lose the relationship he did have with him. It wasn't the kind he was realizing more and more with each passing day that he wanted _really bad_ , but it was the relationship that he had always had with Shinichi, and could probably live with. Made it difficult to proceed when he didn't have any idea of what to do, though.

But then, not-so-thankfully, one day, Shinichi proposed to him, a plan.

"How about I bring her here? We could… I don't know… watch movies together."

It sounded like the worst idea ever.

It was made worse by the fact that it was brought up on one of those days Kaito was feeling that urge to curl up into the fetal position, burrow into his blankets, and forget about his incessant, unquenchable desire to drag Shinichi into it so he could cuddle the boy into submission. Maybe brain wash him into loving him back with kisses, and snuggles, and promises made of gold.

"Or we could… play board games?"

Kaito let out a sigh so exasperatedly unimpressed (one in which he didn't even try to hide), that Shinichi let out an affronted humph.

"You know I'm not good at these things. You could throw out some ideas."

Kaito grumbled, and sat up on his bed to glare at Shinichi. The boy was standing at the foot of it, looking put-out and sulky. Probably because Kaito wasn't being all that helpful right now.

"You are probably the most boring person on the planet, you know that, right?" Kaito told him.

 _And I freaking love you for it._

Shinichi threw up his hands in his own vexation. Then he placed them on his hips and leveled Kaito with a look.

"Well, I don't want to leave you right now. You're moping. _Again_. But I feel bad that I haven't talked to Ran much at all lately. Besides, I would like it if you two talked. I want you two to like each other. So?"

Kaito looked at him, torn. He felt too guilty to say no, but he felt way too… jealous to say yes. It was a tricky sort of decision for his weary mind to make.

Eventually, he sighed, and plopped back down onto his bed, limbs fanned out like a beached starfish.

"…The movie idea sounds fine… I guess," he mumbled.

Shinichi looked disapproving of his disheartened response, and moved over to sit at the edge of Kaito's bed.

"Kaito…"

Kaito sent him a petulant look. He felt like a childish fool, but he couldn't summon up enough will to care.

Shinichi sighed, and a rubbed a hand along his temples.

"Have you even tried talking to this… Akako…?"

Kaito felt disturbed by the question. It was probably reflected on his face, along with a look of,

 _Hahahaha, hell no._

He was about to retort with a surly, _I would rather jump into an aquarium tank full of sharks_ (he was sure that Shinichi would have been proud of his extreme level of sass) but then he noticed the disgruntled look of irritation that had crossed Shinichi's face.

"Because if you don't, then I just might," Shinichi finished, looking to Kaito with a determined, angered sort of expression.

Kaito blinked in confusion.

"Wha?" he mumbled uncertainly.

Shinichi turned away from him, crossing his arms.

"I'm getting tired of seeing you looking so worn-out and depressed all the time. At the very least, she can address it. The idea of her ignoring you while you sit around suffering from heartache is really starting to grate on my nerves."

Kaito stared at Shinichi, caught somewhere between adoration and distraught amusement.

 _Oh, Shinichi, you sweet, loveable, adorable,_ clueless _person you._

 _If only you knew._

Kaito groaned, and rolled around onto his side. He felt his shirt ride up his stomach a bit, but he didn't pay it much attention.

"It's… fine…" he mumbled.

 _Somehow, I think I'll get over her._

Shinichi's face scrunched up in confusion and irritation at Kaito's lack of resolve to do anything about his situation.

"Kaito…"

Kaito didn't move or respond to the frustrated use of his name. Not until he felt a shift on his bed, and felt a hand be placed on his side. When a warm hand touched his hot skin, Kaito felt a jolt.

He almost yelped at the immediate shudder it caused. Then he sat up swiftly, and held Shinichi's phone out to him with gusto.

"H-here! If you're going to invite Ran-chan over, you'll have to do it soon. It's getting late!"

Shinichi pulled his hand back, letting it hang limp in surprise between them at Kaito's sudden outburst. He stared at the offered device, blinked once, then looked down to his pocket, feeling at it in confusion.

"How did you-"

Kaito interrupted him to shove the phone into his suspended hand.

"I'll pick out the movie!" Kaito said quickly, scurrying off the bed and away from Shinichi. Shinichi was left to sit there, bewildered.

Shinichi had eventually called Ran over. It took some convincing from Kaito, who had to insist to Shinichi that he was all right.

The detective didn't buy it for the first thirty minutes after Kaito's sudden mood shift. Kaito had to tell him repeatedly that no, he hadn't experienced temporary insanity, but had decided to take Shinichi's advice to heart, and stop moping. Shinichi still hadn't seemed satisfied, but he had given up when Kaito had started rummaging around through all their drawers for movies to watch with unbridled vigor.

Ran had arrived shortly after Shinichi had invited her over. She was in the same dormitory housing district as they were, after all.

Shinichi opened the door when there was a knock, and Ran stood outside of it with a pleasant smile on her cherubesque face.

"Hey, Ran," Shinichi greeted casually. Ran beamed at him. The wattage of her smile was enough to blind Kaito from where he was sulking in the corner next to the dresser.

"Hey, Shinichi! Thank you for inviting me!" she said with enthusiasm. Kaito rolled his eyes at her excitement.

"Of course," was Shinichi's response, as he stepped aside to lean all sexy and beautiful against the doorframe so she could walk in.

She did, and when she spotted Kaito, she spoke with a smile.

"Hello, Kuroba-kun. It's nice to see you again."

Kaito looked over with a pout, but as he noticed how happy she seemed to be, he tried a smile. He hoped it didn't look too crooked and out of place on his face.

"Hi," was the best he could do.

It didn't seem to affect her good cheer, so he supposed his greeting was passable.

"So, what are we doing? Do you guys have any plans?" Ran asked, turning back around to face Shinichi.

"Yeah," Shinichi started, as he pushed himself off the doorframe. "We were thinking about watching a movie."

Ran looked way too pleased over that.

"That sounds great!" she exclaimed.

Shinichi sent her a charming smile. Kaito glowered at it.

…Shinichi never smiled at _him_ like that…

"Great," Shinichi said, as he walked over towards their TV. Then he turned to Kaito. "Kaito was just picking one out."

Kaito started a little when he noticed he had everyone's attention. He cleared his throat, and turned back to the movies.

Now, what to pick?

Their movie selection didn't vary too much. It wasn't very extensive either. It consisted mostly of mystery themed thrillers, documentaries, Sherlock Holmes renditions, and the occasional recording of a magic show.

Kaito glowered briefly over his shoulder at the expectant faces behind him before looking back down at his choices. He didn't like them all too much. They all sucked.

Not that they actually sucked, he loved all of these movies and documentaries. It was just that they were special. To Shinichi and Kaito. Just Shinichi and Kaito.

Kaito sulked as he slowly began to accept his fate with resignation, that he would have to pick one.

That is, until he spotted a particular movie hidden behind the rest. Kaito reached for it, and picked it up from the pile. A grin broke out on his face.

It was a horror flick.

A _paranormal activity_ horror flick.

Oh, how the devious gears that made up his complicated mind were turning. Kaito wasn't sure if he should feel bad for his jealousy, but as he took one last peek over his shoulder at Ran, who was standing way too close to Shinichi for his liking, it snuffed out any conscience he had left.

Perfect choice.

Kaito stood up from the floor, and walked over to the two of them.

"Here you go!" Kaito chirped, handing the DVD case to Shinichi.

As soon as Shinichi took it, his brow furrowed, and he glanced up to Kaito in confusion. Ran paled beside him.

"Um… Kaito…" Shinichi started, looking askance at the movie in his hand. "Don't we have… I don't know… _anything_ else?"

Kaito's grin fell into a pout that he aimed directly at his best friend. "Ye~ah," he drawled. "But… I wanted to watch that one~"

Shinichi looked conflicted. He glanced briefly over to Ran, who looked so pale, she could match the shade of the ghostly white, creepy girl on the front cover of the case.

"Kaito… I don't know…" Shinichi trailed off. He then walked up to Kaito to whisper a bit harshly into his ear. "What kind of choice is this? Ran hates ghosts."

"Oh, come on," Kaito started, whispering back to him. "Think about it, she'll be all over you during it. You can be like… her savior, or something."

Shinichi took a glance at Ran before turning back to Kaito.

"I still don't think it's a good idea…"

Kaito made his best kicked puppy face at Shinichi.

"But… I wanna watch it," he said, jutting out his bottom lip for emphasis. Shinichi stared at him. It looked as if there was a massive battle of wills going on behind his troubled eyes.

So Kaito sealed the deal with a pouty, "please?"

Shinichi relented at that.

"Fine, fine," he said dismissively. But Kaito knew the only reason he'd approved was because Shinichi had just as much of a problem saying no as he did.

Though, perhaps he was abusing his privilege, making Shinichi choose a movie that he knew his girlfriend would hate.

Oh, but he loved the power he had. And he was feeling particularly like a sore loser at the moment.

Kaito watched, with glee, as Shinichi walked over to their DVD player to put the movie in. Ran looked far less enthused than she had previously.

"Um… Shinichi?" she mumbled. Shinichi looked over his shoulder. "I don't mean to be rude… but uh… do you really not have anything else?"

Shinichi looked sheepish. He gave a shrug and a sympathetic smile. "Well… uh…yes? But… I heard this was… pretty okay. Kaito seems to think so, anyway. Don't worry, we can leave the lights on, if you want. And you can sit next to me."

Kaito thrummed his fingers together like the evil mastermind he felt like right now. He cast a narrow-eyed look at the lights.

"I think it'd be cool if we turned the lights off, actually. We'll be able to see the TV better, and just think of the ambiance," he said, keeping his tone casual. Shinichi sent him a pointed look. Ran practically whimpered.

"Kuroba-kun, can we uh… leave them on?" she asked. Kaito grinned.

He rushed over to the switch near the door and shut it off just as the TV had flickered on. Ran let out a yelp.

"It'll be great! Trust me. Shinichi will protect you. You've got nothing to worry about," Kaito said with devilish sweetness.

" _Kaito,_ " Shinichi's voice came out stern from where he was seated next to the TV.

"Oh, come on, guys. Where's your sense of adventure and wonder? A movie is an experience. A spooky atmosphere is part of what makes it awesome!"

Shinichi started to grumble under his breath, but he didn't argue any further. Ran was quick to sit down and huddle up to Shinichi's side. Her face was already in the position to shove into his shoulder for when things got bad. Which would probably be the entire movie for her.

Kaito walked back over to sit on the other side of Shinichi. When he sat down, Shinichi sent him his barbed stare. Kaito just grinned at him. Shinichi leaned over to whisper harshly to him again.

"Kaito, what the hell are you doing?"

Kaito's grin widened, displaying his full set of pearly whites. "I'm doing you a favor," he replied.

Shinichi did not look like he appreciated his 'favor,' but he crossed his arms and turned towards the screen without further comment.

So, the movie started. Shinichi had begun to glare at the screen in unimpressed irritation. A stare that stayed on his face as the movie played out. Kaito had figured as much. Movies like these never scared him.

Well, to be fair, nothing ever really scared Shinichi, actually. He was too rooted in his logical and level-headed understanding of the world, and Kaito supposed, when you willingly chased after the most terrifying evil it had to offer, something like a paranormal horror movie probably wouldn't scare you all that much.

Ran, however.

" _Eep!_ "

Kaito sat casually, snickering under his breath as he marveled at his grand master plan. She definitely wasn't going to want to come back after this anytime soon.

But, pretty soon, he ended up getting distracted from watching Ran trying to break Shinichi's shoulder with her forehead every time a jump scare happened, or the music picked up.

His attention became caught by the movie, and he stared at the screen, watching it with growing trepidation and anxiousness. It was actually turning out to be scarier than he thought it would be. Kaito swallowed down a nervous lump in his throat.

A ghost on the screen shrieked, and Kaito jumped slightly. He ended up reaching out for the nearest thing to him to steady himself. That nearest thing happened to be Shinichi's arm.

Kaito was so transfixed on the screen, he didn't notice when Shinichi looked down to where Kaito's hand was touching his arm. He still didn't notice the other's quirked eyebrow when his grip tightened as a ghost ripped one of the characters to shreds. Kaito unconsciously leaned a little closer to the body next to him.

"Kaito?" he heard Shinichi mumble next to him.

Kaito didn't answer him. Instead, he jumped again as another ghost popped up on the screen, and he reached up both hands to grip onto the sturdy object next to him.

Why did they have to do the creepy thing with the head spinning around on the shoulders? That was so weird… and gross. He didn't like it.

"Are you… scared?" he heard Shinichi question. There was curiosity and mild amusement in his tone. Kaito still didn't answer him. He only gripped him tighter.

Unfortunately for Kaito, since he wasn't paying Shinichi any attention, he didn't notice when a grin slowly broke out onto the other boy's face. He also didn't see him turn to whisper something to Ran, as she let go of Shinichi to scoot away.

He didn't notice when Shinichi gently removed his grip from his arm, and carefully moved away.

But he did notice eventually, when there was nothing to hold on to when another ghost appeared on the screen.

Kaito looked over, and when he didn't see Shinichi, he began to panic.

But Kaito didn't get much of a chance to fret over Shinichi's sudden absence, because it was then that something seized both of his arms from behind, and then there was a scream.

" _Ah!_ "

And Kaito wailed right along with it.

" _AAHH!_ "

Kaito jumped forward—because there was no way he was going down without some kind of… manly fight—but he ended up faceplanting right onto the floor in his scramble to escape his would-be killer.

Some guffaws started up from behind him, obnoxious as they were, as he began to pick his face up off the floor.

Kaito sat up with a grimace, as he finally noticed Shinichi, who was desperately clinging to his stomach, and laughing tears into his eyes. Kaito's grimace widened in his dismay.

"Asshole…" Kaito muttered, but he didn't think Shinichi even heard him over his own mirth. Even Ran had stopped being terrified, and was secretly hiding her quiet snickers behind her hand.

Okay, fine, whatever, he probably deserved that.

Still… _asshole._

"Oh my _God_ , your _face_!" Shinichi exclaimed through his tears and laughter, then he started cracking up again.

Kaito puffed out his cheeks, and sent Shinichi a pitiful, pouty frown. He felt his face heat up from embarrassment.

"A-are you okay?! I didn't think you would jump!" Shinichi tried to say, but it came out more like a yell.

Kaito's pout deepened, and he stood up from the floor. He didn't answer Shinichi as he walked over to the light switch, and flipped it back on.

"Wait, wait, wait, Kaito! What are you doing? What about the _experience_ and the _ambiance?!_ "

Kaito continued to give Shinichi the cold shoulder, as he plopped back down beside him, crossed his arms, and glowered at the screen in utter irritation.

There was no way he was letting _that_ happen again.

The rest of the movie went by without any more unwanted interruptions. Kaito pouted the entire time. He continued to pout even when Shinichi tried to apologize to him multiple times throughout the rest of it.

He still pouted even after he stopped feeling butthurt about the whole thing, when Ran eventually left and it was just the two of them again.

"Kaito, I'm so~ _rry_ , stop being a brat," Shinichi said with a chuckle, as he reached over to ruffle Kaito's unruly hair. Kaito just pouted more.

He would have stopped any other time, but…

It kind of gave him an excuse, and… he sort of liked all the attention he was getting.

And yeah, he'll admit it, he _loved_ the feeling of Shinichi running his fingers through his hair. Sue him.

* * *

Kaito was sulking.

It was super late at night, and he was lying wide awake in his bed. He couldn't sleep.

Surprise, surprise, it was because he couldn't stop thinking about Shinichi.

He had actually just woken up from a particularly naughty dream, and now he couldn't close his eyes long enough without the thought of something dirty interrupting him.

Gosh, it'd been how long now? Almost three weeks? He'd told himself he needed to deal with it. That he could live with this. But he wasn't coping well.

A flash of naked skin and sharp, knowing eyes, and bedraggled hair flitted through his mind, and he shivered.

Okay, so, maybe Kaito wasn't coping well _at all._

And the sad thing was, for what he sorely lacked in the physical sense, his mind was desperately trying to make up for with dreams like these.

Lots and lots of dreams...

Dreams that ranged from innocent to downright raunchy. Dreams as innocent as confessing to Shinichi that he loved him, all the way to incredibly messy floor sex in one of the backstage bathrooms of one of Kaito's magic shows. Dreams that never deviated from Shinichi. Dreams like the one he had just woken up from.

Kaito let out a sigh as he reached down a hand, and tentatively cupped at the bulge that had formed in his pajama pants.

This was just his fate now, he guessed. Blue balls. He could already feel the ache.

Unless…

Kaito sneaked a peek over at Shinichi's side of the room. He looked to be sleeping. Maybe if he was really quiet…

Kaito bit at his tongue in concentration as he reached over to his desk that sat in-between the beds, and carefully moved back one of the drawers. He paused, only for a moment, when the hinges gave a creak. When all Shinichi did was roll over, Kaito continued.

He managed to find what he was looking for, a bottle of lube, and quietly pulled it out.

The immediate relief he felt when he touched his slick hands to his taut skin was intense. So intense, that he let out a muffled whine through his closed lips.

He closed his eyes, and allowed his mind to take him back to that day. Just to remember what it felt like to have Shinichi's lips against his own. To have a curious tongue feel and explore his all-too-willing mouth.

And Kaito groaned, because his brain took that feeling and pushed it further. Presented to him, a wonderful alternative―what if no one had been in that room?

Kaito was so enthralled by the sensations of finally letting out a lot of pent up arousal, that he didn't notice a shift on the other side of the room.

His next groan was louder than the last, and he tilted his head back into the soft pillows beneath it.

"Kaito?"

Kaito's eyes flew open, and he sucked in a sharp breath; he immediately pulled his hands out of his pants.

 _Abort! Abort!_

"S-Shinichi?" Kaito mumbled awkwardly. He felt his whole body start to burn with embarrassment.

Because this was a great plan. Mhm. Yep.

Shinichi moved closer in the dark until he stood next to Kaito's bed.

"I-I wasn't doing anything!" Kaito said quickly, sitting up to bunch his blankets on top of his lap.

"Oh?" Shinichi said in a quiet voice.

As Kaito heard it, he stopped fiddling with his blankets, and turned to Shinichi to try to gauge him.

If Kaito didn't know any better, he'd have thought that Shinichi had sounded… nervous? Perhaps a bit worried?

"Well that's good," he heard Shinichi murmur. "I thought I woke you up. I-I mean, that's kind of what I wanted to do, but…"

Kaito blinked, and when he couldn't really tell what Shinichi was thinking with how dark it was in the room, he reached over to turn on the lamp on his desk.

The light flickered on, and he squinted. Shinichi did too. It took them both a second to adjust.

When Kaito was able to, he gave Shinichi a once-over. What he saw kind of worried him.

Shinichi had bags under his eyes. The delicate skin looked bruised. He didn't look like he'd been able to sleep at all.

"Hey, hey, are you okay?" Kaito asked, immediately reaching out to grab the boy's arm. He pulled Shinichi towards him. Shinichi moved closer without much resistance.

"…I'm fine. I just… can't sleep," Shinichi said after a moment.

Kaito took a second to register that.

"Wait… does that mean that you… have been awake this whole time?" When Shinichi nodded at him, his face flushed. "D-did you hear anything?"

Shinichi shrugged. "I heard you groaning… I thought you were just dreaming though. You've been doing a lot of that lately."

Kaito nearly choked on his own spit.

But he didn't get too much of a chance to wallow in his own embarrassment, because it was then that Shinichi let out a tired sigh. Kaito looked back up to him in worry.

"How long have you been up?" he asked. Shinichi glanced down to his feet miserably. He looked back up to Kaito after some time.

"Um… since last night."

Kaito gaped at him.

"What?!" he squawked.

Shinichi stared about the room absently. He looked troubled. Kaito felt sort of like an ass for yelling at him. He shook the arm in his grasp to get Shinichi to look at him. He did eventually.

"What's wrong? Why can't you sleep?"

Shinichi looked like he was about to tip over from fatigue. When he almost did, Kaito tugged at him to get him to sit down.

"I… just keep thinking back to this case…" Shinichi mumbled after sitting down at the edge of Kaito's bed. He lifted his hands to rub his palms into his heavy eyes.

"Case?" Kaito asked in confusion. Shinichi lowered his hands a bit to look at him.

"Yeah. I told you about it. The case inspector Megure let me shadow him on," Shinichi explained.

Kaito's eyes lit up in recognition. "Oh! Yeah, I remember."

...but just barely. He'd been so caught up in thinking of his own issue, that he had completely tuned out everything else.

Now that he thought about it, Shinichi had been acting rather strangely after getting back from his internship yesterday. A lot more skittish.

"Yeah… we closed it yesterday," Shinichi mumbled.

Kaito tilted his head in thought. "Oh. Well, that's good, isn't it?"

Shinichi looked down at his lap. He fiddled with the strings on his sweatpants. The expression he was wearing didn't make it seem as if it was a good thing.

"Yeah, I guess so."

Kaito's brow furrowed in disdain. There was something he was missing, evidently.

"Shinichi,"

It took some time, but Kaito didn't go on until Shinichi looked up at him with his tired gaze.

"What happened that was bad enough to make you want to wake me up?" Kaito went on.

Shinichi's face flushed slightly, and he averted his gaze back to his lap.

"I think I'm just being ridiculous," he said quietly. So quietly, that Kaito had to move closer just to hear him.

After he heard what Shinichi had mumbled, he leaned back, and let out an audible, contemplative sigh through his nose.

He'd been so obsessed with his own dilemma that he hadn't even bothered to ask Shinichi earlier what was wrong when he had noticed the odd behavior the first time. Some friend he was.

"Shinichi," he tried again, and gave the sleeve of the boy's shirt a light tug. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

Shinichi looked back over to Kaito's face with a pout and a dull glare. "That's kind of hypocritical of you. I've had to fight tooth and nail to get you to talk to me about what's been going on with you lately…"

Kaito faltered with a blush, but he pushed forward soon after with a steady gaze he pinned on his best friend.

"Perhaps… but here's the thing," he started. Shinichi stared at him through weary eyes. Kaito took a breath, and soldiered on. "You came to me."

Shinichi's eyes widened a fraction, and he turned away with a blush. But Kaito didn't allow him an easy escape. He reached over, and grabbed Shinichi's chin to move his face back towards him.

"And since you did, you must think I can help," Kaito said gently. "So, what happened, Shinichi?"

Shinichi looked torn. Kaito eventually let him go, and waited to see if he would talk. He did.

"You… promise you won't laugh at me?"

Kaito's face took on a baffled expression.

"What? Of course I won't. Why would I laugh at you?"

How bad of a friend did Shinichi think he was? Jeez.

Shinichi looked bashful.

"Oh. It's just because, I laughed at you… that time when we watched that horror movie," he said.

Kaito huffed.

"I kind of deserved that," he admitted. Then he considered what Shinichi had said to him. He gave the boy a calculating look. Shinichi seemed to shrink away from it. "Are you… scared, Shinichi?"

Shinichi looked momentarily panicked, and he glanced back down to his hands with a deep grimace.

Kaito stared at him, wide-eyed.

Shinichi? Scared? Stuff like that just didn't happen. If Kudou Shinichi was scared, then that must mean they were all screwed.

Kaito reached out, and placed a hand on his best friend's shoulder. Shinichi tensed.

"I won't laugh at you," he told him sincerely.

Shinichi let out a sigh that shook his shoulders, but he did look better.

"Ah… well, the case I've been working on… we'd been investigating a series of murders," Shinichi started. "At first it seemed random, but we found out that the motive was more personal. They all had something to do with an incident that happened a few years ago."

Kaito stayed silent, listening patiently.

"We found the killer. It was a man that I hadn't suspected at first," Shinichi went on. His brow furrowed, and he looked shaken. "He, uh… he burned himself alive before we could apprehend him."

Kaito's eyes widened in shock, and he watched as Shinichi turned to stare at him sullenly.

"We couldn't put out the flames fast enough. He died in the hospital yesterday morning."

Kaito opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He closed it soon after.

Shinichi turned away from him with a weathered expression. "I just keep thinking about it… The way he screamed… the way I couldn't stop it…"

He shook his head.

"It just kind of rattled me, I guess," he said. Then he chuckled without any humor. He placed his head in his hands, and rubbed circles into his temples. "It shouldn't be getting to me this much. This is what I do… you know? I should be able to handle this better. Much worse things are bound to happen."

As Shinichi spoke, he glanced back up to Kaito. His eyes looked searching. He looked like he might be looking for a negative reaction. Or maybe a sign that he wasn't crazy.

Maybe he just wanted someone to tell him it'd be okay. That it wasn't his fault.

Kaito stared at him, at the way he looked so drained and tired. At the way he looked like he was about to collapse.

He felt like even more of a jerk now. Damn it, he should have pulled his head out of his ass long enough to be a good friend and notice that Shinichi was upset. From the looks of things, he'd been keeping this to himself the whole time.

But now he knew, and he definitely didn't want to make the same mistake twice.

"Okay," Kaito said with a determined look. He then shuffled out of his tangle of blankets to straighten them out. He crawled onto one side of his bed, and laid down on his side, Shinichi watching him curiously all the while. He patted the spot beside him after. "While I do think you might be in need of a serious pep talk, I really think you need sleep first."

Shinichi stared at him quizzically, and a blush found its way to his cheeks.

"Um…" Shinichi mumbled, clearly not following. Kaito patted the spot beside him again.

"Trying to fight your nightmares alone isn't working, so stay here," Kaito told him, and then he grinned. "Don't worry, I'll keep them at bay."

Shinichi's blush darkened, and he stared down at the spot Kaito was patting. He cast a brief glance back over to his own bed. It seemed so much farther away than it really was. Shinichi looked back down, unsure.

Kaito's grin dulled into a smile, but a fond one. "I won't let anything happen to you, Shinichi."

Shinichi blinked in surprise at him, then his whole body seemed to droop against the strain. He carefully laid down next to Kaito, and he stared at him, somewhat shyly, through worn, blood-shot eyes.

"…You won't tell anyone about this… will you?" he asked. He sounded all too vulnerable right now.

Kaito pulled the blanket over Shinichi, and smiled at him after. Then he reached over him to shut off the light.

"I'll take this secret with me to the grave."

Shinichi returned the smile, and it stayed on his lips as his eyes slowly began to close.

"Thank you… Kaito."

Kaito waited until Shinichi was fully asleep, until he started snoring softly, and his chest rose and fell with every steady breath, to mumble, "Anything for you."

* * *

The following morning, Kaito blinked the sleep from his eyes as he slowly started to wake.

He woke up warm, incredibly so. Not uncomfortably, definitely not. It was the kind of warmth that reminded him of waking up in the dead of winter next to a fireplace, covered in blankets, and snuggled up to a favorite, life-sized teddy bear. A cozy kind of warmth.

Kaito let out a content sigh, as a smile found its way to his lips. He still felt groggy, and his eyes felt heavy. He pulled the warmth in his arms closer, and cuddled into it. His nose hit something soft, and he breathed it in. It smelled kind of like lavender and mint.

Hm… he didn't know warmth could have a smell like lavender and mint. He was more expecting the smell of roasted chestnuts, or maybe burning wood.

And damn, this teddy bear felt awfully perfect against him. Since when did they make ones that molded against you?

But then his teddy bear let out a quiet groan, and Kaito felt a breath brush against the junction between his collar bone and neck. Then his teddy bear _cuddled him back_.

Kaito's brow furrowed, and, slowly, he began to open his eyes fully. Confusion riddled his mind as he tried to collect his thoughts. He looked down.

Inside his arms, a sleeping Shinichi lay.

Kaito's weary eyes widened as his mind began to awaken.

In his sleep, he had somehow wrapped his arms (and even his legs) snuggly around his best friend, like some overly cuddly octopus.

Kaito's first thought was to panic. Because, he had latched onto Shinichi when the boy was at his most vulnerable. When he was sleeping. Was this sexual harassment? Shit, he hoped not.

Kaito's arms were wound around Shinichi's back and torso. One was wrapped up behind Shinichi, across his back to rest against the spot between his neck and shoulder. The other arm was nestled between his bed and the detective, reaching across his lower back for his hand to rest along his hip. One of his legs had draped itself across Shinichi's legs.

Shinichi's arms were pressed against Kaito's chest. His soft cheek was pressed against his neck.

Okay, uh, yeah. So, this was happening.

Delicately, Kaito began trying to extricate himself from Shinichi.

Shinichi let out another groan, and moved his hands up to wrap them around Kaito's neck. Kaito froze.

This new position made it increasingly difficult for Kaito to remove himself from Shinichi. Not because he couldn't move or anything.

…he just didn't want to.

An inner battle of conflicting emotions ensued.

Okay, he probably should let Shinichi go. The boy didn't even know he was acting as teddy bear to possibly the cuddliest person on the planet. It was probably a condition, or something, but he couldn't help it. He liked to cuddle things, okay?

It didn't help that Shinichi just slotted against him like they were just made to fit each other. The boy was the perfect snuggle material. All lean muscle and slender in build.

Kaito told his body to release itself from Shinichi, but he only ended up pulling him closer.

 _Damn it._

Why did Shinichi have to be so warm?!

Shinichi mumbled something next to Kaito's ear, and Kaito felt the skin there start to burn. Then Shinichi stretched out languidly, pressing his body up against Kaito's as his back arched.

Kaito let out a muffled, strangled breath of air.

 _Don't get a boner. Don't get a boner. Don't get a boner. Please don't get a boner?_

His mantra didn't spare him.

Kaito cursed, but he still didn't want to let Shinichi go. Even if he was starting to poke him.

"Do you even know how damn irresistibly freaking cute you are?" Kaito muttered into Shinichi's messy, dark hair. Shinichi merely mumbled again in his sleep, and Kaito let out a miserable sigh. "Of course you don't."

Kaito was almost positive that Shinichi had been sent down to Earth just to be an unobtainable tease to poor unsuspecting magicians.

He let out a pitiful groan as he hugged the boy in his arms a little bit closer.

"Why can't I just have you? Hm?"

Shinichi didn't answer him, obviously. Kaito sulked.

"Will you just give yourself to me? It would save me a lot of hassle, you know," Kaito continued. He idly lifted the hand that had rested across Shinichi's back to play with the tousled strands of dark hair. "You don't even know what you've been doing to me lately."

Shinichi let out a sigh, and adjusted in Kaito's grip. He snuggled his face against Kaito's shoulder.

Kaito felt too hot, but for the life of him, he didn't want to escape it.

He buried his face into Shinichi's hair, and clung to the boy in his arms tighter.

"God, Shinichi, I think I'm really screwed right now…" he trailed off, and then he chuckled.

"I wish I could ask you for advice. I could really use your logic."

Shinichi let out another mumble. It sounded a lot like, 'Kaito…' but it was hard to tell. Kaito let out another sigh, and began to trace irregular shapes into the small of Shinichi's back.

"I don't when it happened, you know?" Kaito went on. "When I fell in love with you, I mean."

"I mean, I know when I realized it. That kiss at the party? It was crazy."

Shinichi shifted against him, and let out a soft snore.

"But like, as far as when it happened? Hell, I don't even know."

Kaito buried his face deeper into Shinichi's wonderful smelling hair.

"I should let you go, shouldn't I?"

Shinichi made an incoherent noise. Kaito felt just the smallest bit pitiful.

"But I don't want to."

Kaito felt his heart clench. Why did this have to be so difficult? All of this. To adjust, to pretend. He was an actor, so why couldn't he fool his tricky heart with all the promises that he would be fine with what he had? That he could deal with this. It wasn't that bad.

He had never felt this way when he had had a crush on Aoko. Hell, he had never felt this way for anyone. Just Shinichi. Always Shinichi.

Anything for Shinichi.

"I don't know how much longer I can take this, Shinichi…" he mumbled. "I don't even know what I'm doing anymore."

Kaito felt his eyes sting, and he bit his bottom lip to distract himself.

"You're the only person that I've ever cared for this much…" Kaito murmured, trailing his fingers through the fine hair at the nape of Shinichi's neck. "To the point that I'd be reduced to… whatever the hell this is."

Kaito let out a dry chuckle.

"Hell, I don't even know if you'd like another guy like that. Telling you all this seems pretty pointless."

And then the smile fell from his lips, and he sighed deeply.

"If Ran makes you happy… Then I can… I'll let you go."

Kaito gave Shinichi one last tight squeeze, then he slowly removed his arms from the body next to him. It was the hardest thing for him to do. He carefully took Shinichi's arms, and unhooked them from around his neck. Then he moved away.

He didn't know what he was going to do now. Maybe he could purchase a ticket to nowhere and live out the rest of his days as a hermit. It, at the very least, was a viable option.

He was about to get up off the bed. Shinichi was probably going to be asleep for a little while longer. He'd been awfully tired last night. Kaito didn't want to disturb him by rolling around and flopping all over him.

But just as he was about to sit up, Shinichi's brow furrowed, and his eyes scrunched. He mumbled something, louder this time, and he reached out.

His arms found Kaito, and he pulled him close. And Shinichi's grip was actually pretty strong.

Kaito let out an 'oof,' as he was pulled back into Shinichi. He looked over, startled.

"Shini-" he started, but then Shinichi started to mutter harshly.

"No…" was Shinichi's mumbled protest.

Kaito blinked a few times.

"Um…" he tried to say, but Shinichi was proving to be quite the distraction, as he snuggled back into him. And then he said something.

"… I need you, Kaito…"

Kaito wasn't sure if he'd heard that right.

"Huh?"

The furrow in Shinichi's brow deepened.

"…I love you."

Kaito's brain came to an abrupt halt, and it promptly crashed.

"Wait, what did you say?"

Kaito leaned in closer, hoping that maybe Shinichi would repeat that, but he didn't.

The only thing Shinichi did was press his face back into Kaito's neck, and his brow relaxed.

Kaito lay there, absent, and he stared up at the ceiling. He felt a whole new wave of confusion.

Did Shinichi just…

He couldn't have. He was just dreaming… right? Just sleep talking.

Kaito turned his head over to look down at the person cuddling into him. Shinichi grumbled, and reached an arm over to rest across Kaito's chest. Kaito flushed scarlet.

Shinichi let out another grumble, and tugged at one of Kaito's arms. Kaito moved the one Shinichi was lying against, and wrapped it around him. Shinichi stopped grumbling.

Yep… okay… wow.

Did he have a chance?

Shinichi let out a quiet groan, and a leg wrapped itself around Kaito's. And then he mumbled, "…stay with me…" Kaito didn't so much as hear it as he _felt_ it, against his neck. His blush threatened to engulf his entire body at that.

Okay, maybe he really did.

A smile slowly tugged at the corners of Kaito's lips. He felt his heart start to beat a little bit quicker.

He needed to tell Shinichi. Needed to tell him that he loved him. Screw letting go.

Er… needed to tell him to his face. Preferably when he was awake.

Kaito's smile evolved into a grin.

He could do it. He was _going_ to do it. If there was something to this, and he really had a chance, then he should.

Then the grin fell away.

But how?

Kaito gave it some thought.

He needed a plan. A plan that would for sure be unable to be misinterpreted. Also, he had to go about all this very carefully. Being a homewrecker didn't sound all that appealing.

His grin returned easily, and he rolled back onto his side to hug Shinichi to him. Shinichi let out a content sigh.

It'd be okay. He'd figure something out.

After all, now that he had a course of action to take, a goal, things felt a little bit clearer. Like a light at the end of the incredibly murky tunnel.

For now, he'd cuddle the shit out of this man until he woke up. (And then he was going to run away frantically to hide his erection in the shower, but, you know, whatever)

* * *

 **AN:**

 **So, I have a solid idea of how this story is going to go now. It's going to have a total of four chapters. Each chapter will probably be around this length, roughly 10k words. The next one might be longer.**

 **The next update will probably take a little bit more time than this one.**

 **On a side note, what do you guys think of the cover art? I drew it up a little bit ago, and I think it came out quite good. I quite like it. I've been trying to draw lineart with my tablet more. It's been hard, man. I'm so obsessed with the pen tool, it's unreal. I'm trying to break the habit. QQ**

 **Anyway, until next time.**


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